'til my head falls off

Go, buy something.

2009-12-08T09:02:00.002-05:00

A good friend of mine is starting the adoption process, and is hosting a fundraising auction to help defray the costs. Go check it out, pick something, and buy it.

Lily's worth it.

Happy Halloween!

2009-11-03T12:18:00.003-05:00

Yeah, we went trick or treating. Twice, once was a field trip with Noel's class, and then again on real Halloween. We are swimming in candy.

And I am really, really, sliding on the good blogger angle, right? I mean, geez. What kind of mommy-blogger am I, anyway? The kind that slacks, apparently.
Sorry about that. Sort of.

(and Jill, yeah, I am on FB, but so rarely it's not even funny. I would have responded to your comment, but it was to a no-reply address)
On that note, here are the little buggers in costume, and I'll be around.

Scholarly

2009-09-10T14:06:00.002-05:00

So. We've gotten through a couple of weeks of school, and here's what I know.
The one typical kid in the class is a teacher's kid. She lurrrrves Noel. She also tried to cut his hair during arts and crafts last week. Heh.
After a week of Noel actually taking a nap at school, now he doesn't. Every day on his daily report home, it says 'rested'. I assume that by rested they mean 'mostly didn't try to visit every other kid in the room while they slept'.
Today the para walked Noel out to our pick-up spot. Apparently, today she was doing some diagnostic testing to see where Noel was with some stuff.
You should have seen her face when she told me that Noel knows shapes. "Even oval and diamond!". Yeah, we knew that. So I told her that he can also count to ten. (braggy brag brag, right?)

Also, we are tossing the idea of homeschooling around at our house. School isn't compulsory here until the year the kid will be 6 on Feb.1, which translates to the 2011-2012 school year. We have some time to think about it, to put it mildly.
I'm not tied to any particular education method, be it homeschool or public school or private. I am, however, open to any of them, should they prove to be the best thing for my kid.
If anybody has Ds specific information regarding homeschooling, I'd be interested to see it! But like I say, we've got some time before we have to make a decision.

Also? Only one kid is a freaking BREEZE.

Absence explained. Sorta.

2009-08-17T09:05:00.002-05:00

We were just here and away, doing summer things, building gardens, traveling to visit friends, and other assorted whatnots. I kept meaning to get back here and say something, but it never seemed interesting, really.

Noel is starting pre-k in about a week. The way our programs work around here is this: 0-3 gets in home or out of the home therapies, determined by an IFSP. After we age out of that, he goes into the public school system, and receives his therapies in a classroom setting- or, theoretically, we could decline the school part and I could take him to a school to get speech. Just speech. He wouldn't get PT or OT, because the system isn't able to do something. I stopped listening somewhere around there.

We declined the school thing back in March, and had intentions of sending Noel to a private school. Unfortunately the school (illegally, I'd like to point out, but it doesn't matter if I'm not suing them, right?) declined to accept Noel once they saw his vaccine exemption. So.
We've had the entire summer without therapy of any sort, and just last week I went ahead and re-instated our school placement and Noel's IEP. When we declined in hte spring, it was because I couldn't fathom that Noel could manage well in a full day, 5-day a week program. This was before his tubes were placed, before his Sure Steps. At the time, he was walking 40-50% of the time, but was still crawling. He had a good number of signs and word approximations, but was essentially non verbal. I was very concerned about going from all-mommy all-the-time to 30 hours a week in someone else's care.

But what a difference a few months makes, no? Noel is walking and talking like a toddler. I think that at this point, he'd really benefit from the program and so that's what we're doing. I'll still pick him up before naptime because really? He can sleep at home.

He might be ready, but I'm certainly not. I'm not ready to share him with a teacher I don't know, who may not appreciate all the fabulousness of my kid. It's the first of the little breaks, right? Little steps away from mommy. It's the way it works, I know, but man. Stings.

Father's day?

2009-06-18T11:22:00.002-05:00

Again? Really?
Man, I've got to get something together for that. I know it's a huge cop out, but I always give everyone pictures of the kids. I know. But everyone always likes them, and luckily for me, it's what I do. And I like to think that they're not too shabby.
Crisis averted.

Oh, except for that other thing- the one that's keeping me awake at night and has me doing that thing... I know I'm not the only one- where you say, I could do this, and maybe this, but then this other thing won't work. Or I could try this thing, but thenthat other thing won't fit. And then you just work around in circles in your head for a while and it seems like you're getting someplace but then you're nowhere again? Yeah. That's driving me totally crazy.
See, here's the thing. I have had this business idea. I've had it for quite a while, it's one of those things that just kind of rolls around in the back of your head. I went to a studio outside of my local area for a lighting seminar, and the photographer there had the thing that was in my head.
And it was very, very cool.
And I wanted it.

But I'm not at a place where I can comfortably open a brick and mortar studio, and I'm not the 'in my house' studio type, and that's ok. So I keep on being an exclusively on location photographer.
Well, then this thing happened, and this other thing happened, and then my mom decided to put a garage on her property. With a little attached studio. Well, it's really not a studio, but it's going to be. So, yay!

And that gives me the space to do the really cool thing that I wanted in the first place, but the sheer volume of choices to make has me absolutely boggled. I just have to make the choices, so I can start the real planning, but I'm totally stranded in the pre-planning, because I can't make the decision. It's a tough life.

I have this condition- we joke about it, but it's kind of weird- I either want or need something (always specific, but could be anything) and I can't find it, within about six months after it's too late (for my purposes) that thing is everywhere. Drives me crazy. Also, it worries me a little, in particular with this project, because I want to be the only one in the area with this awesome idea. At least I think it's awesome.

So, here's what I'm planning (but in miniature):
So far, the best example I've found
A very small cottage facade, with full garden in front. Good for fairies and princesses. Also a small barn facade, with some barn-y type props. A bale of hay.
Either brick or flagstone patio with some type of sitting area- bench, low wall, a fountain or something. A sand area with palm tree and a couple little kid-size Adirondack chairs.
My big problem is that I have too many ideas and not enough room or money. I have to pick the most viable, the ones that will be most productive. I have some ideas about asking for an exchange with local businesses- maybe I could get a local playhouse builder to work with me for advertising. I haven't gotten that far yet, because I'm still trying to figure out exactly where I'm going to put things... and which things will be there at all. And I'm stuck.

But I'm really excited, because the in-studio/outdoor thing is exactly what was floating around in my head. It's just hard getting it from in there to out here.

just... wow.

2009-06-15T17:45:00.003-05:00

You can read all about it here.
I read a blog- Citizens for Midwifery. I know that I'm considered fringe, that by having a home birth after a cesarean I'm already considered to be a little out there. Not that I had a home birth, but that's a little dicey, too- but especially after a c-section. I know that the obstetricians in my state and the nurses' groups, too- they both have lobbyists working for them to outlaw midwives here. The laws on midwifery are sunsetting, which means that they will have to get voted on again to keep the laws allowing midwives to practice on the books.
And the AMA is pulling this crap- something that I cannot even begin to wrap my head around- because I am a non-compliant patient. I would be at risk of having my insurance company not cover my care because I would have this information in my medical history.

Ladies, even if you don't think that homebirth is for you, even if you don't ever want to see a midwife- at least give the ones of us that want it the choice. We are losing our choices, and I'm not noticing many opposing voices.

Support your local midwives.

Quick! Tell me what to do!

2009-06-12T13:32:00.002-05:00

So, I was at Tuesday Morning today, and while poking around in the luggage section (don't need luggage, but anyway) I saw some laptop cases. The majority of them were fairly hideous, but...
there was one. It was a little briefcase looking job, but way smaller than a briefcase (which is good, because I'm smaller than a person). But there were little compartments and whatnot in part of it, spaces that would be pretty decent for taking some jewelry samples with me to pre-shoot client consultations.
I know nothing of upscale leathers, and less than that about handbags. I carry around a wallet. Granted, the last wallet purchase I made, I got something really cool instead of the business card holder I was using to stash my credit cards in, but still. I'm not exactly a fashionista. Nor am I involved in the briefcase toting lifestyle- so really.
This little case was more than I'd "just" buy, but not so much that I'd be upset over the amount. And I didn't buy it while I was there, but I'm sorely tempted to go back and get it.

It's a Tanner Krolle, which meant nothing to me until I got home and googled. Ha. But If I'm trying to present my work to the chi-chi in our area- those moms know the name. And it's cute. I can't find an example of the bag online, so it's probably long discontinued, but still.

(ps. I said tell me what to do, I know, but never mind. I'm going back anyway.)

This is my baby?

2009-06-04T13:11:00.001-05:00

She's just so friggin' BIG. Wah.

night noises

2009-05-30T11:30:00.002-05:00

Do you love it when you hear scritching in your walls? Yeah, me either.
We've got a mama possum with five babies in our attic. Yay wildlife.

At least it's not a rat.

Not half bad

2009-05-29T16:16:00.002-05:00

The event went off with nary a hitch, even though there were lots of places where it could have gone very, very bad. It was busy, and stressful, and I didn't eat lunch because I had too many files to edit and not enough prints waiting to be picked up, but it's over, it went well, and everyone was happy.

Not to mention all the other vendors that were there picked up the business cards I had out... yay for networking! Yay for being done with this! And a great big woo-hoo for getting paid!

sensible people

2009-05-28T23:38:00.002-05:00

Sensible people would be sleeping right now, not aimlessly trolling flickr for some inspiration for maternity posing.
Alas, I've never been all that sensible, and anyway, I just got done with testing the new printer for the big thing tomorrow. Word on the street is that it'll be 30-ish moms-to-be and 6 or so office headshots. The headshots will be regular-like, so I can take the files home and actually edit them and all that. The maternity portion (moms attending a one day birth and breastfeeding class) will all be printed on site. It'll be exciting, if not crazy stressful- but it'll get done, it'll be fine, and they can't take away my birthday, anyway.

I'm going to bed. Wish me luck, right?

I knew it was coming, but YOWZA.

2009-05-26T15:03:00.002-05:00

I finally weathered my first all-out, flail like a wild thing, screaming temper tantrum. At the aquarium, trying to feed both kids. We were the public spectacle.

It was not awesome.

We have been so spoiled by Noel, with his easy going nature and his ability to take change in stride. Darrah, not so much. We're in for a ride with this one, I think.

done

2009-05-21T11:07:00.002-05:00

He's in recovery, tubes are in, adenoids are out. Dr. says, "I think you'll have a new kid".

I am hopeful. I am really happy I have this little notebook 'puter and that there's wifi here, too.
Mostly, though, I can't wait to see my baby. They say twenty minutes.

ebb and flow

2009-05-19T09:07:00.003-05:00

Tubes and adenoids scheduled for Thursday. On the one hand, I'm really excited about the consequences of the surgery- the better hearing, the better breathing at night. On the other, yikes. And then yikes some more. It's short. It's outpatient, It's at a surgery center that is only for children, only for ENT, only the doctors in this practice. Clearly, they know what they're doing. Clearly, the staff is intimately aware of caring for children. Still, I worry.

I've been trying to learn the ins and outs of SEO and keywords and pay per click and promoting my business website without spending too much money and without looking stupid. I think I may be doing ok, as the hits over there have really jumped in the last couple of days. Hits don't mean booked shoots, but hey- it's a start.

I have a 'session' coming up that is terrifying. It's a full day, print on site maternity shoot. I don't know what I was thinking when I agreed, but it's on now. It's not like charity, as I'm getting paid, but it is for a non-profit, and it is for a segment of our population that would not normally have a maternity portrait. So, I think that the women will be happy that I'm there, and I think that it will all work out fine in the end. Right now, though, I'm having some concerns, like, ohmygawd, what the hell was I thinking. Or, holy shit, how on earth am I going to get 30-50 5x7s printed straight out of the camera with no processing? And, erm, do you think that I can do this to a notebook that we acquired kind of suddenly? Quick?

And then I have to change a diaper and make a snack and I try not to worry too much about it. The shoot OR the surgery.

Oh, god. Pass the 'what to expect' book

2009-05-16T09:41:00.003-05:00

Erm, we tossed out all the baby's first year, here's what your kid should be doing stuff pretty early on with Noel. That's kind of untrue- we still have the books, but they're really first-year, baby books. We never upgraded to the 'what your kid does next' versions. It seemed silly, and we've been making it up as we go ever since. We let Noel lead the way on what he's capable of doing and ready to try.

We've been blindly stumbling through some potty time- and when I say stumbling, maybe I mean traipsing, or meandering. We've been trying it, but not really pushing it.

When Darrah signed 'potty', I figured I should reinforce the meaning of the word and sign by doing the same thing I'd do for Noel- put her on the potty. But then she peed there. And again the next time.

I'm not prepared to call her 'potty learning', but clearly she is. I don't know what to do next. It's one of those I don't want to waste the interest, but don't want to force the issue, either.

So we amble along, these kids and me. I'm hoping I don't screw either one of them up, all the while secretly praying for fewer diapers to wash (oh, yeah, we still use cloth at home and disposables when we're out) It's too early for me to be eyeing the super cute Hanna Andersson trainers, right?

kicking the dead horse, I know.

2009-05-10T13:05:00.003-05:00

It's Mother's Day, again, so I'll post it, again.
It's the Mother's Day Proclamation by Julia Ward Howe, and I would rather we had peace than brunch. I'm funny that way. But still, I never turn down mimosas or belgian waffles. Happy Mother's Day, moms. It's a tough job.

Arise, then, women of this day! Arise all women who have hearts,
whether our baptism be that of water or of fears!

Say firmly: "We will not have great questions decided by
irrelevant agencies. Our husbands shall not come to us, reeking
with carnage, for caresses and applause. Our sons shall not be
taken from us to unlearn all that we have been able to teach
them of charity, mercy and patience.

We women of one country will be too tender of those of another
country to allow our sons to be trained to injure theirs. From
the bosom of the devastated earth a voice goes up with our own.
It says "Disarm, Disarm! The sword of murder is not the balance
of justice."

Blood does not wipe our dishonor nor violence indicate possession.
As men have often forsaken the plow and the anvil at the summons
of war, let women now leave all that may be left of home for a
great and earnest day of counsel. Let them meet first, as women,
to bewail and commemorate the dead.

Let them then solemnly take counsel with each other as to the
means whereby the great human family can live in peace, each
bearing after their own time the sacred impress, not of Caesar,
but of God.

In the name of womanhood and of humanity, I earnestly ask that a
general congress of women without limit of nationality may be
appointed and held at some place deemed most convenient and at
the earliest period consistent with its objects, to promote the
alliance of the different nationalities, the amicable settlement
of international questions, the great and general interests of
peace.

Julia Ward Howe
Boston
1870

because I like bacon.

2009-05-08T07:05:00.002-05:00

So, I totally forgot the one Ds related story we collected in New Orleans. Sorry.

It was our last morning in town, and we were packed and just kind of waiting until time to check out and head to the airport. We went to get breakfast at this awesome place (no, I will NOT tell you where, thank you, there are like seven tables in there and I like to have a place to sit. Like there are that many of you that A) read the blog, B) are going to be/are in New Orleans, and C) would take my word on it. Hee. They really do have the most seriously awesome biscuits in the world, though. No offense, aunt Abi)

Right.
So, we were eating breakfast and killing time. It's a good thing, because restaurant no-name doesn't have any high chairs, so we had one kid on a lap and one kid in a stroller. It takes a million years to eat like that.
There was an older couple at the table next to us. They were playing sweet games with the kids- peekaboo with Darrah, and giving out high fives to Noel. We exchanged brief niceties, and then the occasional chatter about a kid. They were reading the paper and discussing whatever- I'd catch bits and pieces of talk of current events, and while usually I'm an avid overlistener (sounds better than eavesdropping, right?), I was busy with Darrah and her gaping maw of a mouth.
We were about 3/4 done, and they were getting up to pay, and on the way out, the woman came over and made kid goodbyes, and the man hovered for a second longer. His parting comment? "These people are such a blessing".
And I ignored it, specifically, and smiled and nodded, I think. I wanted to say, but aren't we all! Instead I said, 'now, you two have a great day!', and the like.

And when we got up to pay, they had paid our bill, too. Which was nice.
And in hindsight, I'm more willing to believe that they, themselves, were 'blessed' in some way. At the time, though, it kind of felt like charity.
And I didn't like it.

But I really like breakfast.
And I'm really, really, really glad I didn't snark at the nice older man.

I know a chicken...

2009-05-07T06:24:00.003-05:00

And she laid an egg.
(do you know this song? Laurie Berkner)

You know the chicken of ours that has escaped twice? She's the one that has me looking like a crazy person with a double stroller chasing her around the neighborhood.
Well, now she's gone broody.
Won't get out of the nest, and the other girls are getting a little perturbed. There is a second nestbox, but nobody wants to use it for whatever chicken reason. I'm not about to get some fertile eggs for her to hatch, so we have to break her of this nonsense. Whee! Fun with farm animals.

home again

2009-05-06T08:49:00.004-05:00

So, we made it there and back, two flights, seven hotel nights, two walking babies, and one grandma-nanny in one piece without any major mishaps.
Yay!

Saw Doc Watson. Man, at 86, the guy still has the blues in his blood. Crazy, man. Buddy Guy was fab, too. Found Jesus in the Gospel tent, because on a Sunday morning, with a bloody mary in hand, it's just the right thing to do. Everybody finds Jesus in the Gospel tent, whether it's your thing or not. Ya just do. Saw perhaps the worst puppet show of all time in the kids' tent, and not only was the actual show awful, the sound was even worse. Bon Jovi drew such a crowd that we only caught the last few minutes of him, but we got 'Wanted', and a Bon Jovi rendition of 'Twist and Shout'. I hear they counted 90K people that day. We left the kids back at the hotel with Gramma, and that was probably the best decision of the week. We managed to stay almost to the end of the last day, with the Neville Brothers closing out on one stage while the Radiators closed the other one- but the threatening rain had us leave before the encore. We had Noel with us that day, and the kid hates the rain. The thing he hates second-most is umbrellas, so we left.

Man, I love me some JazzFest. I can't wait until next year.

Noel's been coughing a nasty croupy cough since mid-vacation, and it's not getting better yet, so we had to reschedule his tubes-adenoids surgery. Darrah's been practicing her walking, and at this point, she's practically running. We had to buy one of those monkey backpacks cleverly disguising the kid-leash.

And that, my friends, is that.

timing is everything

2009-04-27T13:01:00.002-05:00

So, this morning, we were supposed to pick up our Sure Steps. Turns out, the billing department tried to send the invoice through Early Steps, and Early Steps declined the authorization. Instead of going ahead and ordering them, then, they tried to reach me Friday (missed the call and message. my fault), because after talking to our insurance, we'd be paying out of pocket for the entire thing.
When they couldn't get in touch with me, the order was placed on hold- which, while I would have rather had the SS, I appreciate the fact that these are expensive, and this would have been a surprise bill that I don't want to pay today.

So I call Early Steps, I call our old PT, I call my husband. No SureSteps! Big bill! Yikes!

And then I got home, and checked the mail, and in the little tarnished brass box was Noel's Medicaid card. Called the orthotics place, the order is back on, I don't have to kick anyone's butt into covering or deal with insurance that flips over to crap on May 1, nothing. We use Medicaid as secondary, and we have primary coverage (which still sucks) with the husband's employer. No worry about the adenoid surgery, no worry about the orthotics. Done.

And the day before we leave town, I'm getting a little scratchy throat and my neck is a little sore (I'm betting it's a lymph nodes swelling thing). Because it can't all be good news, right?
Trying to kick the crap out of the cooties with ginger and garlic and vitamin C and chicken broth and extra zinc and, and, and...
whatever I can come up with that could possibly maybe get me better faster.

awesome/not awesome

2009-04-23T14:32:00.002-05:00

So, Noel is scheduled for his tubes and adenoid surgery in two weeks. I feel like the ENT kinda blew me off, but I think his end recommendation was correct, so I didn't argue the point.
Our health insurance changes six days before the procedure. (as an aside, it's nice to see how dramatically health insurance costs underline the health of a business. The husband's employer is not doing very well, apparently) We will have gone from a do-able $500 deductible to a holy shit, are you effing kidding me $2000 deductible.
Good times.

Also, I'd like to mention how much I love waiting for a kid to poop. That's been the highlight of the past couple of days. Whee!

We pick up our Sure Steps on Monday (farm print, thanks for asking). I hope they are like magic.

We leave for the promised land in four days. I can practically smell it, and am ready to leave. Now. Packed? No. Ready? Oh, yes.

2009-04-18T07:25:00.002-05:00

I got a business line for the shooting action. I thought that maybe there would BE some action if people could call me, and therefore, a business number was assigned. It's more of a pretend number, as its only function is to forward people to voicemail or ring through to my cell phone, but still. It's the appearance and all that.
And I have a seminar on Monday about maternity lighting. Yay!

I am also trying to have an original thought about family portraits, and I'm not sure if I'm totally on the wrong track or what. Mostly the actual marketing of said idea is the real bugger, and capturing the clients first... all I'm saying is that I'm glad it's a toll-free line I got there, is all.

The chickens have all started laying, and it is SO freaking awesome to walk into the backyard and grab a couple of eggs. We get about 18 a week, which is more than I expected, but hey, we share. Also, we eat a lot of eggs now. Only one of the easter eggers is laying blue eggs, the other three girls lay brown.

Also, Noel has a)a stomach bug, b)reflux, c) some mystery thing that makes him gag and cough and sometimes little pukeys. Gross. He's not really eating, he's not really sick, and aside from being a little bit pale and a little bit tired, he's just regular. We're playing wait and see, and also letting him eat crackers and pears and yogurt for dinner, if he wants to.

And that's the minutae that everyone loves, no?

are they joking?

2009-04-16T15:05:00.003-05:00

So, I just got an email from Williams Sonoma. Like I have the time, energy, or kitchen space (uh, for any more, I mean. Besides all the build-a-bear cake pans and vegetable cakelet pans and other WS whatnot I already have no space time or energy for).
Anyway.

The title of the email:
Perfect for Mother's Day: Our Filled Pancake Pan

Because we appreciate you SO MUCH, mom, could you please make us breakfast? And not those regular pancakes, these newer and better ones. Your old ones suck.
Did I mention, make me breakfast?

Whatever.
We're completely ignoring the fact that when we were physically in the store I picked up that exact pancake pan and said, 'yummy!'.

THAT'S what happens?

2009-04-14T11:28:00.002-05:00

Really? Did everyone know this but me?

So, Darrah has been occasionally taking one little step. She'll stand up, and wobble a bit, and then one foot scootches forward. We keep waiting for her to take another step, but so far, it's this one foot out business.
A couple of nights ago, she stuck the one foot out, and tried to move the other one. Instead, she did something of a pirouette, didn't fall right away, but finally wound up on her butt. Again.

So, this morning, Noel's toodling around the living room with his Easter basket full of whatever it is that he carries around in there. Darrah's standing at the coffee table.
And she took a step away. And then another. And the next thing I knew, she was three feet away from it, all on her own power.

Dude, she's WALKING. Not just one step, one step, one step, but walking.
I had NO idea that this was the way that happened.
Oh, the possibilities with two walkers is nauseating. Woohoo!

playing with light, different kid, take two

2009-04-08T06:58:00.002-05:00